We live in a country that requires every citizen to prove they are insured, but not everyone must prove they are a citizen. Many of those who refuse or are unable to prove they are citizens will receive free insurance paid for by those who are forced to buy insurance because they are citizens.

Aiming for a drama free Christmas

November was a rough month. My grandmother passed away and I went home for the funeral. Two weeks later I was back in upstate NY for Thanksgiving and ended up with some flu that left me sicker than I’d been in years. I was exhausted, mentally and physically.

The other day I sent flowers to Mom, what I thought was a beautiful arrangement of red/white variegated “candy cane” tulips. Saturday I received her call that they’d arrived. “Oh, they’re nice” then without so much as a comma proceeded to tell me how horrible I am and Christmas is this year and how nobody cares enough to come home for the holiday. “Oh, I hear you bought another classic car but you can’t even be bothered to come home.” 

Excuse me? I had to take personal time off to come home for the funeral then dragged myself back up there sick as hell for Thanksgiving and I don’t care? Oh and yes I do have the money to fly up, I don’t have the time off available if I were so inclined, which at this point- I’m not.

Called them last night to say thank you for a Christmas card they sent us. I spoke with Dad as Mom was on the phone with my uncle. In the background I heard her going on and on to him about this and my other apparent shortcomings.

I know every family has their issues, but it’s they way they handle them. Mine deals with them in an under handed, back stabbing, never to your face unless confronted way. I don’t work like that and I said (ok yelled) exactly what I thought.

Day to day life has enough stresses on it’s own and you deal with them and go on. When the people who are supposed to have your back are instead twisting a knife in it, at some point you have to say enough is enough. I am, for at least the remainder of the year, done with family and it’s drama.

Sometimes giving up is best


A year ago this month, my SAAB SPG, was totaled in an accident. I’d wanted one since they were introduced in 1985 and eventually I had one. Most of my friends and especially my friends from the car club, didn’t understand the attraction. Fine. Whatever. I loved it. It made me happy just to look at and driving it could improve almost any mood. It was in almost perfect condition for a 27 year old car.


Since then I’ve been looking for another to replace it.

No luck.

All I find is convertibles which I do not want, and trash. I even lowered my standards and decided I’d accept a non-turbo “S” model. Still there is nothing available for sale anywhere- and I do mean anywhere. My partner Evan thinks that somewhere on the great SAAB Calendar In The Sky that there’s some nebulous date “in the spring” when dozens of available candidates will spring forth upon the earth for me to have my choice of, but I’m doubting it. I’m thinking it’s time to give up on ever finding another one- I’m just making myself unhappy with disappointment when I do go look at something for sale that turns out to be NOTHING as described.

The broken key

So, I’m on call this weekend so I’m remotely keeping an eye on all things MIS at the office (Cue Alan Parsons Project “Eye In The Sky”).

One thing that just makes by brain assplode is employees locking themselves out of their accounts. You have TEN tries to enter the correct password and they STILL somehow manage to get locked out.

That’s like walking up to your door, pulling out your keys, putting one in the lock, “nope didn’t work, maybe I should try it again” pull it out, put it back in “hmm nope, didn’t work, maybe I should try it again”. Until, on the 11th try, you break your key off in the door.

Jocksniffers Unite!

This morning my twitter stream is all a quiver over some Basketball player, Jason Collins, coming out.


Can I just ask a question…. “Who Gives A Fuck?”

Oh, let me pause and applaud because some dumb jock came out.

I keep hearing about his ‘courage’ and ‘heroism’. Does anyone REALLY think it’s coming out experience is going to be anything like that of yours and mine?

He’s coming out to instant celebrity not the mock and ridicule that most of us have had to face in our lives.

Hero? Not even close.

Chinese Buffet

Chinese Buffet for lunch today. I stopped by the men’s room on the way out. Some guy was in the stall and from the sounds, smell of things in obvious distress. Leaving the men’s room I spotted a can of air freshener on the sink, so, being the thoughtful person I am, I carried it to the stall and set it on the floor just inside. He started snickering and said “thanks man” at which point I lost it laughing.

Church Chat

Ok, yeah I know, I’ve been neglecting the blog for a while. Not for lack of things to say but for lack of time to write them down.

Now, I’ve had lots of mixed feelings about the whole Chick-fil-a brouhaha but in the end I have to come down on the side of “it’s a private company, they can run it and donate to whomever they like” and if you don’t like it, just don’t go there.

Now, what the gay community has done with all this has pushed things to an extreme level. Chick-fil-a would have never had their biggest day *ever* yesterday, had “we” not pushed things to this point.

Now to put the “hypochristians” on blast.

You pick and choose what biblical laws you want to follow. The book of Leviticus, where it says that a man should not lie with another man, also says that women have to sit outside the gates of the city when they’re on their period. I’ve yet to see a huddle of estrogen bags gathered around Atlanta’s 285 perimeter highway.

Are you keeping your milk and meat separate? Eating pork, shellfish, etc? Those laws were handed down at the same time.

“Oh but wait!” you say, God rescinded the Old Testament law after Jesus. Ok, which ones? All? Some? Just the ones you find inconvenient?

Another thing that has Christians panties in a twist is statements from some Muslim leaders supporting the adoption of Sharia law in the US. What’s the matter? Afraid of competition? How is what you’re doing any different from what they want to do?

I don’t want EITHER of you in charge. This is not a theocracy

Black people- you’re not off the hook either!

I watched a news report from a Chick-Fil-A restaurant with an interview of a black patron who was there because she’s against gay marriage equity “because it be in the bible”. Hey lady, how many years ago was it the bible was used to justify keeping you a second class citizen or to forbid you from an interracial marriage?

Oh I see, black people have a case of “I got mine so screw you”. Well screw you too.

To think, as fucked as this country is, THIS is your priority. You all deserve what we’ve got.



This morning, a never-was columnist for a minor NY rag compared Gays supporting Romney to Cockroaches moonlighting as exterminators. No, I’m not mentioning his name because A) You’ve probably already read about this and B) if you haven’t, I’m not directing any traffic his way.

First of all, when it comes to supporting Romney, it’s a case of holding-my-nose-and-pulling-his-lever. He is NOT my choice, none of the Republicans really ever were but this election is, for me, clearly a vote for anyone but Obama.

His article says (A) Romney has no better answer to our economic woes except for general pronouncements and promises; (B) Whether we’re in a good economy or not, I’d rather have my rights, thank you. Well that’s just wonderful, however I’d rather have to jump through legal hoops to ensure my partner and I are protected, than enjoy joint ownership of a slick new refrigerator box parked along the sidewalk.

I’m tired of being attacked because I don’t follow what “the group” says I should believe, and I for one am not going to let it continue to just let it slide by. I am an individual, I do what’s best for me, and while I’m more than comfortable with myself as a gay man, it does not define my whole existence.

As for the columnist, some things never change. When I first saw him eighteen years ago he was drooling on himself on a couch at “The Roxy”, now at least he’s drooling on paper.

This Time I Know It’s For Real

Anyone who knows me knows that I am NOT into in “celebrity worship” in any way, shape or form. Having said that, I’d like to join the chorus of people remembering Donna Summer.

This morning on my way to work, my friend Larry Flick played “This Time I Know It’s For Real” on SiriusXM’s “Morning Jolt”. Besides being simply an awesome dance song, it holds a lot of happy memories for me.

When this song came out in 1989, I’d been out for about a year and had made a large number of friends at a bar called “Numbers” in Binghamton NY. Affectionately (and not) called “The Bitch Pack” by others, there were about 10 of us that hung out and any given weekend we’d be together doing something.

Whenever this song would play, I’d let down my inhibitions and (gasp) dance.

This song punctuated what was one of the happiest times in my life….finding myself and a wonderful group of friends.

Twenty-three years later (can he really be that long ago?) time and people have moved on and I’ve since lost touch with the ones who are still with us.

Donna, thank you for the music that twenty-three years later, transports me back to a wonderful time and brings back happy memories of great people who taught me to be happy with who I am.


Music. I truly love it.
Tonight on my way home I was listening to a live recording of the Pet Shop Boys “Pandemonium” concert recorded in London. If an artist is going to fall apart or show their lack of REAL talent, it’s going to be during a live concert where one of two things will happen. Either they’ll sound terrible OR they’ll just lip sync their way through. Happily neither was the case here.

Sometimes listening to a track I’ll get the chills right down my spine and across my face. If I’m singing along at the time I’ll have no choice but to stop because my voice will crack and I’ll literally choke up. It doesn’t have to be a particularly emotional song, and it’s doesn’t have to have anything tondo with the lyrics, just a combination of melody and chord progression can trigger it.

This happened on the way home tonight and it totally made me forget about the day and then long commute home.

You don’t have to tell me I’m crazy, I know that and have the prescriptions to prove it :).

I pity anyone who’s never had that experience.

The song/transition I was listening too. Domino Dancing into When I Ruled The World


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